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How to Deliver Bad News

October 19, 2015

Filed under: Case Presentation,Communication — Tags: , , — Barry @ 2:34 PM

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As a practicing dentist for over forty years, if there is something I do regularly it’s deliver bad news.  As the GEICO ad tells us…“if you’re a doctor you deliver bad news…it’s what you do.”

Not a day goes by when I don’t have to tell someone that they have a cavity, periodontal disease or worse yet, how much it will cost them.  And it’s not just the dentistry: how about when a case comes back from the lab and the shade is off or worse, we need to take another impression.  In a dental practice the situations are endless.

It’s a rare moment when we get to say “Mrs. Jones…it’s a boy.”

This is not the fun part of a dentist’s job…and many dentists paradoxically try to avoid it.

Think about that for a second.

A longtime patient comes in for a routine cleaning and you discover early decay under a old long-span bridge.  It’s a bridge you made for her fifteen years ago.  She comes in regularly and she has not needed work in years.  You know she’s under the impression that as long as she flosses daily and comes in on a regular basis that she is immune to major problems.  Worse yet, she is recently divorced and approaching retirement.

Tense times…for everyone, unless of course you lack empathy.  That’s another problem, but if you truly want to master the art of delivering bad news better – then this may interest you.

Leadership and communication lie at the center of your success in dentistry.  Present your case in a positive manner and you will get more acceptance, less complaints and most importantly better health for everyone.  In the past I have written blog posts about the charismatic dentist and empathy…delivering bad news better can go a long way to improving your charisma scores.

In a new book, Broadcasting Happiness, The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change, author Michelle Gielan offers her Four Cs on how to deliver bad news.

If you practice the Four Cs I am sure your dental practice will become more positive in every way and you will never complain about “people” again.

Let’s take a look at the Four Cs in dental practice:

  1. Create Social Capital.  A buzzword being used these days in business and sports, is culture.  But what exactly does that mean?  Dental practices need to build cultures of trust.  Covey, years ago referred to an emotional bank account.  Social capital refers to the resources that we have available to us based on trust and the willingness of practice to support our actions.  For patients of record this trust is built up over the years.  For new patients it is built through the examination process, and how the practice welcomes patients in.  Other resources include our ability to communicate, educate and motivate through listening and clear expression of thoughts and ideas.
  2. Give Context.  How you frame your conversation means everything.  If we frame our treatment in negativity…pain, cost and inconvenience, our acceptance will go down.  Just this morning I entered my hygiene room and my patient sensed my presence and said, “Uh Oh!”  She was joking, but let’s be honest most patients frame their dental visits negatively.  One way to provide context is to use what I call a “reason why philosophy.”  It takes a bit longer but I usually give a thorough explanation about why I need to do dentistry.  Not only what needs to be done but why it needs to be done.  This takes a bit of skill. but it can be learned.  Many dental practices use what author Gielan calls a Band-Aid mentality in delivering bad news- they just rip it off fast so it won’t hurt as much.  I hate when that happens to me…the reason why philosophy builds trust.  This comes up more often than we might think.  Even in the case of a patient who repeatedly refuses x-rays…just saying “because I said so,”  doesn’t inspire trust.  Taking the time to give a well thought explanation goes a long way.
  3. Express Compassion.  One of the strangest things for me to understand is noticing how so many of my dentist friends feel when they are on the receiving side of bad news.  And I mean any bad news.  They especially love to complain about the cost of things these days, yet they have no problem dispensing the bad news.  It’s human nature to not take bad news well.  Just knowing that means we have to step back and show empathy…it’s appreciated.  Dentistry is expensive these days.  If you’re reading this and getting angry because your fees are justified, I get it.  You know who doesn’t get it?  Most patients, so show compassion.  Talk about it.  And it gets worse when it’s your work that fails.  According to Michelle Gielan, compassion not only makes moral sense, it makes business sense. 
  4. Stay Committed.  Earlier I said that delivering bad news was an aspect of leadership and communication.  The leader’s commitment is to the patient and their well being.  Leaders deliver long term value and in order to do that we must remain committed.  In the end delivering bad news starts with being human.  If we remind our patients of what John Lennon once said, “Everything will be okay in the end.  If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

So take heart, if delivering bad news gets you down, use these 4 Cs to change the way you look at things—because “if you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How is Your Charisma Score?

June 16, 2015

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Presentation is ubiquitous.  Someone once said, you can not, not communicate.  Most of us fall back on our habits and say things during the course of our workday that we wish we could take back.

Everything is a presentation, and you are the message.

I realized this years ago when I read Bert Decker’s excellent book on public speaking, You’ve Got to be Believed to be Heard: Reach the First Brain to Communicate in Business and in Life.  That book set me on a journey that changed the way I communicated…to the critical emotional element of the human brain.

I have used Decker’s work for years, and now his son and daughter in-law have written a brand new updated version titled Communicate to Influence: How to Inspire Your Audience to Action. 

Some of the lessons that are discussed in both books can be gleaned from the titles:

  • Communication is mostly at an emotional level.
  • Leadership is influence and influence is communication.
  • Honesty and integrity count for everything.
  • The purpose of presenting is action.

With this in mind, why do some people seem to have it and others just never get it?  Can leadership and communication skills be taught, or do some people just have that magic “gift”?

CHARISMA

The word charisma can be misleading.  Charisma comes from the Greek kharisma which means: divine favor, or a gift from above.  The implication is that charisma can’t be learned.

Synonyms for charisma include inspire, empower, uplift and motivate.  Now those are words I would use for any leader.

Can you be inspiring, motivating, empowering and uplifting?  I think those things can be learned.

In one word, let’s call it charisma.

In their wonderful book Communicate to Inspire, the Deckers explain a very useful tool.  They call it the Communication Roadmap.  Imagine a grid with four quadrants.  The vertical axis describes how emotionally connected we are and the horizontal axis separates those communicators who tend to be self-focused versus other focused.

Each quadrant then describes the type of communication we use: Informers (lower left), Entertainers (upper left), Direct (lower right) and Inspirers (upper tight).

Guess where the charismatic communicators go…yep…the upper right.  Inspirers…highly emotionally connected and other focused.

When you think about it, if the goal for leaders is to influence and motivate people to action, then being nice, warm and likable really works…yet the dental community seems to be just the opposite.  I know that’s a generalization but we have a reputation for being well…paternal.

Many of us are quite directive.  We tell people what they should do, because that has always been our role.  Actually most dentists lean to the lower left quadrant…we inform people.  Under the heading of educating patients we think that is most effective.

Well, informing is actually the least effective…it’s not emotionally based and it’s self-centered.  It’s self-centered because it leaves us with the impression that we have done our jobs.

After all…we told them, right?

What’s worse is that this is what is taught in dental schools and most CE programs.  It’s the blind leading the blind.

Charisma can be taught.  It must be practiced…you can’t learn it from a book…my apologies to the Deckers.

Jack Kennedy, before he entered politics was not a very good communicator.  The story that Ben Decker tells in his book is that Kennedy went to Hollywood and watched charismatic actors like Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable.

Then he practiced (practice said Allen Iverson?), until he developed a persona that today means “charismatic leader.”

Think about what it might take for your case presentations to be better.  Better photographs?  Better explanations?  Better referrals?

Or just a bit of connection.

If you would like to learn more about leadership and communication, drop me a message…I am putting together a series of webinars.